Welcome to my restaurant

[FrodoSwaggins]

A bearded Hobbit stands behind a rustic wooden counter, wiping the oiled surface with a dishrag. His beard extends up to his hair and his hair is tucked under a broad brimmed felt hat and its where hat, hair, and hobbit start or end seems to be a matter of popular conjecture as opposed to verifiable fact.
Nearby, a cat and a dwarf sit at a table, discussing politics in a heated tone. The cat is clearly quite drunk.
The hobbit addresses you:
"Welcome to the Swag-Inn, what'll you have?"
::A weathered, hand-lettered wooden sign behind the bar reads "Orders Accepted in the Form of a Female Name"::
   

[gorzek]

I'd like a... Jennifer?

[FrodoSwaggins]

Ah yes, a fine choice!
::The hobbit disappears into the kitchen briefly and returns with a small, steaming plate of pasta. You catch whiffs of rosemary as he places it on the counter before you and you see that its garnished with arugula.::
Bon Appetit! 
::Behind you, there's a crashing sound followed by an angry meow::

[gorzek]

What was that noise?

[FrodoSwaggins]

What was that noise?

"The local council is having a vote on the parking ordinance."
::you're pretty sure you hear a cat behind you yell, "it's about ethics in turnip journalism!" followed by another crash::
::the hobbit pulls an aged brass water-sprayer from beneath the counter and peers warily toward the sounds of commotion::

"How's your appetizer? Get you anything else?"

[gorzek]

Where the hell am I? Parking? Do hobbits have cars? How did I get here??

[FrodoSwaggins]

Where the hell am I? Parking? Do hobbits have cars? How did I get here??

You're at the Swag-Inn, finest dining establishment in the 12 realms! Don't ask around though. M'names Swaggins, Frodo Swaggins.
Naught too many cars round here, but you don't want to be short for a place to park your goose. Scuff another man's goose tryna squeeze in, it's no good, everybody gets cantankerous.
Did you perhaps come in by the rivergate? Or maybe slipped in through More Door? All those doors can be mighty confusing.

This post was last modified: 02-25-2025, 05:05 PM by FrodoSwaggins.

[gorzek]

Ah, that explains it. I came here from the City of Doors. No, not Sigil. The other one.

[FrodoSwaggins]

Ah, that explains it. I came here from the City of Doors. No, not Sigil. The other one.

You did come far! How's your meal? Here, try this.
::Master Swaggins places another steaming bowl of noodles in front of you. You can see this one is seasoned with caramelized onions, garnished with a spring of aromatic lavender::
It's a Vivienne. 
::Swaggins squirts water around you in the direction of the fracas, resulting in momentary swearing and angry meows::

[gorzek]

You got water in my noodles, you jerk.

[Aloria]

-Slamming the door open- Holly Hell! The TRAFFIC today. Why did they decide to have a Catterwallin today? Don't they know the music festival is tomorrow? I hope they're done by evening. I don't want to listen to THAT all night. -goes to the bar- I'd like the Belinda. -slaps big brimmed hat on the bar and pushes hand through loose dark hair before looking around to squint at the stranger-