It's really hard to be neurodivergent and trying to function in a system so hostile to our needs.
I don't know if you're looking for advice or just wanting a space to vent and process, so feel free to ignore me on all this. One thing I have found working with neurodivergent clients (and myself) is that even small accommodations can be helpful. To use the spoon theory analogy, if you wake up with ten spoons most days, and you use twelve every day, you're in a chronic deficit which leads to a downward spiral of being ever more burned out and struggling. If you can make it so you're only spending nine spoons a day, you are no longer in a deficit every day and might even have a spare spoon occasionally.
FWIW, I think you could absolutely ask for some accommodations at work based on your current diagnoses that would be helpful. Even requesting WFH would be reasonable based on migraines and anxiety, but whether your company approves it or not would depend on whether there is a precedent already for WFH. Can you do your job entirely remotely? Do other employees currently WFH, or is hybrid standard? If not, it's unlikely they would accept WFH as a 'reasonable' request. But if you're already hybrid or have the setup to be so, then at the very least you could try asking for a more flexible hybrid schedule or increased WFH hours. ALSO: you do not have to tell your employers what your diagnoses are, and I would recommend not doing so. Your medical provider can help you fill out accommodations paperwork with functional limitations without disclosing the diagnosis.
*Accommodations caveat* requesting ADA accommodations can sometimes put a target on your back. Capitalism is hostile to disability. This is less likely to happen if you work for a large corporation as they have lawyers who may discourage blatantly illegal discrimination and as just another face in the crowd there's less likely to be someone personally interested in fucking with you, but it is a possibility to be aware of.
I don't know if you're looking for advice or just wanting a space to vent and process, so feel free to ignore me on all this. One thing I have found working with neurodivergent clients (and myself) is that even small accommodations can be helpful. To use the spoon theory analogy, if you wake up with ten spoons most days, and you use twelve every day, you're in a chronic deficit which leads to a downward spiral of being ever more burned out and struggling. If you can make it so you're only spending nine spoons a day, you are no longer in a deficit every day and might even have a spare spoon occasionally.
FWIW, I think you could absolutely ask for some accommodations at work based on your current diagnoses that would be helpful. Even requesting WFH would be reasonable based on migraines and anxiety, but whether your company approves it or not would depend on whether there is a precedent already for WFH. Can you do your job entirely remotely? Do other employees currently WFH, or is hybrid standard? If not, it's unlikely they would accept WFH as a 'reasonable' request. But if you're already hybrid or have the setup to be so, then at the very least you could try asking for a more flexible hybrid schedule or increased WFH hours. ALSO: you do not have to tell your employers what your diagnoses are, and I would recommend not doing so. Your medical provider can help you fill out accommodations paperwork with functional limitations without disclosing the diagnosis.
*Accommodations caveat* requesting ADA accommodations can sometimes put a target on your back. Capitalism is hostile to disability. This is less likely to happen if you work for a large corporation as they have lawyers who may discourage blatantly illegal discrimination and as just another face in the crowd there's less likely to be someone personally interested in fucking with you, but it is a possibility to be aware of.
More like crapitalism, am I right ladies? - Karl Marx